i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm at about main and main street
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
