3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
