he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
