At least make sure they are 18
Why
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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