i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
