Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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