Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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