I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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