my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
