Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
