I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
