You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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