planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
