I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I still have a little drunk in my system
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
