none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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