This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
