oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
