I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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