Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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