Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
