"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
