oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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