yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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