Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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