Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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