I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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