So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize