i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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