omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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