He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
