do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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