you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
