It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
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i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
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The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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