You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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