got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
