I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
