If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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