found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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