you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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