listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
