Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
