I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize