Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
A bitchslap is in order.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize