You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
