We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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