i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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