don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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