"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
