that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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