It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I will pee on everything he values.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
