My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
