So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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