Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
