I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I want a musical about memes.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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