She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have fence marks all over my body
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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