he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
