do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize